91���Ѽ

CU Boulder scientist Chelsea Kilimnik is one of a handful of researchers looking at the correlation between sexual trauma and ‘duty sex’

Driven by a long-held interest in the ways in which unwanted and nonconsensual sexual experiences can shape individuals’ future sexual experiences and overall well-being, Chelsea Kilimnik, a licensed clinical psychologist and assistant professor in the University of Colorado Boulder Department Psychology and Neuroscience and the Renée Crown Wellness Institute, teamed up with researchers at the University of Texas at Austin to study that very topic.

It’s not surprising that research has largely neglected how women’s trauma shapes their sex lives, considering that, as a culture, “we’ve only recently acknowledged that women are sexual beings,” says Kilimnik, who is the director of the Growth, Identity, and Sexual Trauma (GIST) Lab at CU Boulder.

CU Boulder researcher Chelsea Kilimnik, an assistant professor of psychology and neuroscience, notes that that, as a culture, "we’ve only recently acknowledged that women are sexual beings."��

Kilimnik’s and her colleagues’ , published recently in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, provides foundational insights into women’s motivations for sex—an area of study that has long been overlooked by the scientific community.

An overlooked area of research

Although the tides are beginning to turn, for many healthcare providers, the idea of prioritizing women’s sexual pleasure is still novel. Many times, when women come to the doctor reporting pelvic pain or pain during sex, their experiences are invalidated and their healthcare needs ignored, says Kilimnik. Not only is this frustrating, but the lack of belief, offered agency and validation can exacerbate mental health difficulties for those with past experiences of sexual trauma.

Meanwhile, the body of data on women’s mental health and its connection to sexual health and well-being is “still in its infancy,” says Kilimnik, who is part of a small community of researchers studying it.

“Sexual trauma affects women at disproportionately higher rates than men and has a significant influence on their sex lives, yet this connection to sexuality is something that was ignored by the literature for centuries, so we need to document it in the literature,” she explains.

While we may think of sex as something that doesn’t affect our lives beyond the bedroom, our sexuality affects many aspects of our day-to-day lives, says Kilimnik. That’s because psychological and sexual well-being are deeply linked.

Psychological well-being encompasses multiple factors, including the presence or absence of mental health disorders, general mood and overall quality of life, says Kilimnik. Sexual well-being, on the other hand, can include your sexual satisfaction, how you feel about yourself as a sexual person, the way your body operates in sexual encounters, body image and the presence or absence of sexual disorders, she says.

“While psychological and sexual well-being are two distinct constructs, they are almost always related,” says Kilimnik. For example, if you’re depressed, that will impact your sex life. And if your sex life is unsatisfying or you struggle to view yourself as a sexual being, that can impact your self-esteem, and in turn, your mental health, she explains.

What the data say

The team of researchers explored the relationships between the frequency of duty sex (the act of engaging in sex out of a sense of obligation or duty), sexual functioning and nonconsensual sexual encounters (NSEs).

While duty sex is consensual, it’s motivated not by desire but by “the feeling that you have to,” says Kilimnik. That might be for reasons ranging from not wanting your partner to be angry to the fear that they might leave you, or the sense that you have a responsibility to your partner to engage in sex.

The data revealed that people with NSE histories reported higher frequency of duty sex. They also found that people with lower levels of sexual satisfaction and higher levels of sexual pain reported more frequent duty sex.

“These relationships can be bidirectional,” Kilimnik points out, particularly with regard to duty sex and sexual pain and dysfunction. In other words, people may have more duty sex because they don’t enjoy sex due to pain or discomfort, but it’s also true that people may not find their sex lives satisfying because they’re frequently engaging in duty sex.�� ��

When the researchers controlled for sexual functioning, they found that NSEs “have this unique impact on engaging in duty sex above and beyond what sexual functioning can account for,” says Kilimnik. This is consistent with existing research that indicates those with NSE histories often have more difficulty asserting their sexual boundaries, she says.

While this paper alone can’t tell us how to improve our sex lives—and, consequently, our overall well-being—it does support the existence of an important pattern, says Kilimnik. “That pattern supports this idea that if the primary reason you’re engaging in sex is out of a sense of obligation, it can be harmful for your sex life and well-being.”

Did you enjoy this article?����Passionate about psychology and neuroscience?��Show your support.

��